A casual or family Valheim server is a dedicated server with the difficulty turned down at launch: -preset casual for a gentler game across the board, -setkey passivemobs if you want creatures that leave players alone unless provoked, and -modifier raids none so nobody's first house gets knocked down by trolls. Set a password of at least five characters that has nothing in common with the server name, keep the server out of the public list with -public 0, and you have a world a ten-year-old and a grandparent can both enjoy. The rest is choosing how gentle to go - too easy and older players get bored, too hard and the youngest quits after the first Greydwarf.
This guide goes through each setting, what it changes in practice, how to keep a family server private, and the household details - play hours, crossplay with Xbox, more than one child on one computer - that decide whether it works.
Why a dedicated server suits families#
Valheim can host from inside the game, and for two adults on one evening that is fine. For a family it has drawbacks. The world exists only while the host is playing, so a child cannot hop on after school unless the parent's PC is on and in the game. The host's machine also does the work for everyone, so the host gets the worst frame rate.
A dedicated server keeps the world running on its own. Anyone with the password can join when they like, and turning the host's PC off does not end the game. It also gives you one place to set the rules - difficulty, who may join, and when the server is up - which matters more with children than with adults. The dedicated server guide covers setup end to end; this post is about tuning it for a relaxed group.
A family of up to four needs very little: the smallest plans, around 2 GB of memory, are enough until the world has been explored for months. How much RAM a Valheim server needs has the full table.
The casual preset and what it changes#
World modifiers set difficulty for the whole world. A preset sets all five at once, and individual modifiers override it. The simplest family server is one argument:
-preset casualThe casual preset is the forgiving end of the scale: gentler combat, a minimal death penalty and portal rules relaxed. Third-party references differ on exactly which value each modifier gets in the preset, so read the in-game world modifier screen or set the values yourself. Setting them explicitly also makes it easier to adjust one thing later without touching the rest:
-modifier combat veryeasy \-modifier deathpenalty casual \-modifier resources more \-modifier raids none \-modifier portals casual \-setkey playerevents| Modifier | Family value | What it means for players |
|---|---|---|
combat | veryeasy or easy | Enemies hit less hard and die sooner |
deathpenalty | casual | Keep items and skills when you die |
resources | more | Fewer trips for wood and stone |
raids | none or muchless | No or rare attacks on the base |
portals | casual | Ore and metal go through portals |
-setkey playerevents | On | Any raids match each player's progress |
The death penalty is the one that matters most for children. At casual a death costs the walk back and nothing else, which removes the experience that makes young players quit: dying in the swamp, losing all their gear and not being able to get it back. Death penalty and tombstones explains the other values if you want something in between.
portals casual is the other big one. By default ore and metal bars cannot go through portals, and the game expects you to sail them home. That is a good game for adults; with children it often means an hour-long boat trip that nobody enjoys. With casual portals the group can portal straight home. Portal rules and restrictions has the other values.
Whichever you pick, -modifier takes two separate tokens - -modifier raids none, not -modifier "raids none". A malformed modifier is silently ignored.
Passive mobs, raids and combat#
These three settings decide how frightening the game is, and they are worth thinking about separately.
`-setkey passivemobs` makes creatures non-hostile unless attacked. Greydwarfs, trolls and draugr walk past instead of chasing you. It turns Valheim into a building and exploring game, and for very young players it is often the right choice. The cost is that combat - and bosses, which still fight back when you summon them - loses its build-up. An older child who wants to fight will find it dull. Try a week without it before deciding.
`-modifier raids none` stops the events where creatures attack a base. Raids are among the most stressful moments for new players because they arrive with little warning and target whoever is at home. Turning them off, or down to muchless, keeps bases safe. Raids and events on servers explains how events are chosen if you want to keep a few.
`-modifier combat veryeasy` keeps enemies dangerous enough to be interesting, but lower damage and health give a child time to learn blocking and dodging. It is the best middle ground for mixed ages.
A good rule of thumb for mixed families:
| Youngest player | Suggested setup |
|---|---|
| Under 8 | -preset casual plus -setkey passivemobs |
| 8 to 12 | -preset casual, raids none or muchless |
| 12 and up, or casual adults | combat easy, deathpenalty casual, raids less |
Modifiers are stored in the world and can be changed at any time by restarting with different arguments. Turning combat up a notch once the children are comfortable is normal and does nothing to existing builds. World modifiers and presets covers every value.
Passwords children can use#
The server password has rules that trip people up. It must be at least five characters long, and it must not contain the server name or appear in it. A server named "Smith Family" with the password "smithfamily" will refuse to start, and the reason scrolls past in the log in a second. Server password rules has the details.
For children, the password has two jobs that pull in different directions: easy enough to type, hard enough that a classmate cannot guess it. Some advice:
- Use three short words with a number.
otter-boat-42is easy for a child to remember and type and not something a stranger guesses. - Do not use the family name, a pet's name or a birthday. Those are the first things a curious friend tries.
- Keep it off screenshots. Children share screenshots and videos; the password should never be in the server name or on a sign in the world.
- Change it if it leaks. If a child shares it at school, change it on the server and restart. Everyone who should be there gets the new one.
For more control, use an allow list. Put each family member's ID in permittedlist.txt, and only those people can join, even with the password. If the file contains any ID at all, the server becomes allow-list only. Steam players are listed by their SteamID64; crossplay players by their platform-prefixed ID, which you can read from the server log after they have joined once. The list files guide covers both formats.
// Parent (Steam)76561198012345678// Child on Xbox, crossplay serverXbox_2535412345678901Keeping the server private#
A family server should not appear in the community browser. Set -public 0 and the server is not listed; players join by IP or, on a crossplay server, by join code.
$ ./valheim_server.x86_64 -nographics -batchmode \ -name "Fjord Cottage" -port 2456 -world "Cottage" \ -password "otter-boat-42" -public 0 -crossplay \ -preset casual -setkey passivemobsUnlisted is not secret - anyone with the address and password can still join - so the password and allow list do the real work. Things worth knowing:
- Valheim has no text filter you control. Players on the same server can type in chat and see each other's names. On a private server with only family, that is not a concern. On a server with friends' children, agree on who is allowed.
- Voice is not built in. The game has text chat and pings. If the family uses voice, it is through Discord, a platform party or being in the same room.
- The join code changes on restart. On crossplay servers the six-digit code is printed in the log at startup and changes every time the server restarts. Children on Xbox will need the new code after each restart.
Server security and privacy goes further, for families who want to.
Crossplay, Game Pass and several children#
Families often mix platforms - a parent on Steam, children on Xbox or Game Pass. Valheim supports this with -crossplay, which lets Xbox and Microsoft Store players join with the six-digit join code. Crossplay and Xbox players covers the details. A few points families hit:
- Child Xbox accounts need permission. Microsoft family settings control whether a child account can join multiplayer games and play with people on other networks. If a child cannot join, check those settings first.
- Each player needs the game. Two children playing at the same time need two copies, or access through Game Pass on each account.
- No mods for Xbox. Console players cannot install mods. If the server needs client mods, Xbox players cannot join. A family server is easiest kept vanilla.
- Steam players can join by IP. Join Game, Add Server, then the address and port. That is more reliable than the browser for an unlisted server.
Characters live on each player's own machine. A child who plays on a shared PC under a separate Steam account has their own characters; one who uses a sibling's account sees the sibling's characters. Make a character per child, named so nobody plays on the wrong one.
Play hours and the household routine#
A dedicated server runs all the time, which is a feature for adults and a problem at bedtime. Valheim has no built-in play-time limit, but you can stop and start the server on a schedule. Stopping the server cleanly saves the world first, so nobody loses progress.
On a machine you run yourself, cron does it:
# Stop at 20:30 on school nights, start at 16:0030 20 * * 0-4 systemctl stop valheim0 16 * * 1-5 systemctl start valheimOn RE:NODE the Schedules tab does the same with a cron expression and a power action, and it can send a console message first. Pair the evening stop with a backup task so the day's building is safe. Subusers can be given console-only access, so another adult can restart the server without seeing billing - subusers and least privilege explains how roles work.
Some routines that help:
- Sleeping skips the night only when everyone sleeps. Teach children to go to bed when the others do, or night lasts forever. Sleeping together also gives the Rested bonus.
- A shared base near spawn. Young players get lost. A base by the sacrificial stones, with a portal to everywhere else, keeps the family together.
- Clear naming of portals. "Home", "Mine", "Swamp" - children understand those faster than coordinates.
- Save interval. Lower it to
-saveinterval 600so a crash or a child pulling the power cord on the host loses at most ten minutes.
Backups and the bad day#
Children dig holes in the middle of the base, set the longhouse on fire and dismantle the portal hub. That is part of playing. The protection is a backup you can go back to.
Valheim keeps its own rolling backups beside the world (-backups, four by default), but they sit on the same disk as the world. Take real backups too, daily, and before any big change such as a game update. Valheim server backups and world corruption covers how and why.
Before restoring, remember that a world backup rolls back everyone's building, not just the child's mistake. If one child wrecked one corner, it is often kinder to rebuild together than to undo a sibling's afternoon of work too.
Wards help in a family as much as with strangers. A ward stops players it does not know from building, deconstructing or opening chests in its area. A child who wants their own house can ward it and permit the family. Wards and griefing explains how.
FAQ#
Is Valheim suitable for young children?
It depends on the child. The game has dark forests, skeletons and some frightening creatures, but no gore. With -setkey passivemobs and raids off, it becomes mostly a game of building, exploring and cooking. Watch the first session together and adjust.
Can I make the game easier for one child only?
No. World modifiers apply to everyone on the world. You can run a second world with gentler settings for the youngest, or agree that older players help younger ones through hard parts.
Will turning difficulty up later break our world?
No. Modifiers can be changed at any restart and only affect the rules from then on. Builds, chests and boss progress are kept. Many families start very easy and step combat up after the first boss.
Do we need the internet to play on our own server?
Yes. A rented server is reached over the internet, so every player needs a connection. For playing only on a home network, a server on a home PC works, but it has to be on whenever anyone plays.
What happens if my child forgets the password?
They ask you. The password is set on the server, so you can read it from your startup settings and tell them, or change it and restart if it has been shared too widely.
